Is Coffee Just Soup in Disguise? A Stirring Debate

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By Larry Billinger

Defining Our Culinary Terms

First off, let’s get our definitions straight. The dictionary describes “soup” as a savory dish made by boiling ingredients such as meat, fish, or vegetables in stock or water. Sounds like a full meal in a bowl, right? On the other hand, “broth” is a flavorful liquid made by boiling ingredients. Considering this, when you enjoy your morning coffee, could it be that you’re sipping… a broth?

Arguments in Favor of Coffee as Soup

  • Bean Talk: To begin with, many of our beloved soups highlight beans. Given that coffee comes from “beans” (technically seeds), it could indeed hint at a soupy nature.
  • Brewing vs. Simmering: Next, we look at the process. Soups require simmering, while coffee demands brewing. Both, however, focus on extracting flavor.
  • Warmth and Comfort: Additionally, whether it’s coffee or soup, both offer a comforting warmth on a cold day.

The Case Against Coffee as Soup

  • Flavor Profiles: Firstly, soups are rich and savory, often standing as full meals. In contrast, coffee leans towards the bitter spectrum and needs additives to sweeten it up.
  • Dish or Drink?: Furthermore, soups are hearty and filling. Coffee, though, is more of a breakfast sidekick.
  • Sip Etiquette: Lastly, while slurping soup can be overlooked, doing the same with coffee? That’s slightly unconventional.

The Reddit Brew-haha: What the Internet Thinks

Interestingly, Reddit, our favorite platform for fiery debates, saw users tossing in their flavorful opinions:

  • Some humorously dubbed coffee a “bean broth.”
  • Another user quipped that iced coffee is essentially “cool beans.”
  • Intriguingly, some users stirred up the tea vs. stock debate.
  • Others pondered the thickness and starch content.
  • And, unsurprisingly, the jovial declaration echoed: “Everything is soup.”

Larry’s Verdict

In this lively discussion, I’ve come to a verdict. Even though the idea of coffee as soup is amusing, I firmly place coffee in the beverage category. And just to note, I’m not particularly fond of hot drinks. The only lukewarm drink I might tip my hat to is chocolate milk — because who can say no to chocolate?

Over to the Audience

Now, it’s your turn. What’s your stance in this boiling debate? Do you envision coffee as a covert soup, or is it undeniably a standalone drink? Dive into the discourse and enjoy whatever fills your cup (or bowl)!

A Few Bonus Coffee Soup Dad Jokes

  1. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged at the soup kitchen!
  2. Why did the soup see a therapist? It had too many brew-ed feelings, thanks to coffee!
  3. What did the coffee say to the soup? “You’re hot stuff, but I’m the one who’s brew-tiful!”
  4. Why did the coffee keep checking the soup’s temperature? Because it didn’t want things to boil over!
  5. What’s a coffee’s favorite type of story? A steamy soup opera!
  6. Why did the soup bring coffee to the party? To give the pot a stirring experience!
  7. What did the soup say to the coffee at the talent show? “I’m a big fan of your ground performance!”
  8. Why was the coffee acting sneaky around the soup? It was trying to espresso itself without being too obvious!
  9. How do you make a coffee soup giggle? Pour in a little brew-haha!
  10. Why was the coffee upset at the soup party? It felt too bean-there-done-that!

Image Credit: Generated with AI ∙ October 10, 2023 at 10:13 PM chunky coffee soup in soup bowl with crackers – Image Creator from Microsoft Bing

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