By Larry Billinger
A Saucy Tale from Applebee’s
I found myself at Applebee’s just last night, facing the ultimate decision. I hesitated as I perused their “All You Can Eat Boneless Wings” offer. Do I really call them “boneless wings”? The pressure was palpable. With its irresistible marketing prowess, Applebee’s had me toeing the line between culinary correctness and convenience. And let’s be honest, who can resist unlimited wings, whatever you choose to call them?
In a world filled with pressing matters and weighty debates, it’s time to tackle a topic that’s kept wing enthusiasts awake at night—boneless chicken wings. Are they truly wings, or are we being bamboozled by poultry impostors? Really, this is all besides the point. The bigger question is which tastes better, boneless or bone-in wings? The fact that I had to even say bone-in is ridiculous.
Back in 2020, the nation was graced by the presence of a passionate crusader for the cause, Andrew Christensen of Lincoln, Nebraska, who took it upon himself to address the city council on this pressing issue. In his eloquent plea, he sparked the debate by making some compelling points:
The Pros of Renaming
Clarity: Renaming boneless wings could lead to a more accurate description of what’s on the plate. Terms like “Buffalo-style chicken tenders” or “saucy nugs” do have a certain flair.
As one Reddit user aptly put it, “Calling boneless wings ‘wings’ is like calling a tomato a ‘Juicy Red Vegetable.’ Let’s keep it real.”
Educational Opportunity: It’s a chance to educate future generations about the source of their meat. Perhaps we could introduce “Meat 101” in schools, complete with a chicken-wing-from-wing diagram.
The Cons of Renaming
Resistance to Change: Tradition dies hard. Chicken wing lovers, especially those who prefer the boneless variety, might resist a change in nomenclature. “What’s in a name?” they might ask.
In a witty Reddit comment, someone quipped, “If we rename boneless wings, will they lose their boneless-ness? Food for thought.”
Menu Chaos: Renaming items on menus nationwide could cause culinary chaos. Imagine walking into your favorite wing joint and having to decipher an entirely new menu. It’s a flavor revolution.
“I already struggle enough choosing between mild and spicy. Now I have to navigate the saucy nugget maze?!” exclaimed another Reddit user.
The Comedy Factor: Let’s face it, “saucy nugs” is amusing, but it might be a hard sell to serious diners. How can you order with a straight face? “I’ll take the saucy nugs, please.”
One Redditor humorously weighed in, “I tried to order saucy nugs, but the laughter from the table next to me was too distracting.”
The Taste Test: Bone-In vs. Boneless
Now, as we dig deeper into this saucy debate, it’s crucial to address another significant aspect—the taste. Beyond the nomenclature, there’s the undeniable flavor factor.
Traditional bone-in wings, with their perfect combination of crispy skin and succulent meat, have long been the gold standard for wing enthusiasts. The bones add flavor, and there’s a satisfying ritual to devouring these delicious morsels. But here comes the twist—boneless wings.
Boneless wings, often crafted from tender chicken breast meat, have a different allure. They’re healthier, boasting less fat and no bones to contend with. But here’s the catch: they lack the full-bodied flavor that bones bring to the table.
So, what’s a wing lover to do? It’s a culinary conundrum. Bone-in wings tantalize the taste buds with their rich, complex flavors, while boneless wings offer a guilt-free indulgence with their lean meat. But, and it’s a big but, you can devour more boneless wings without that pesky bone getting in the way.
The Verdict
As the great chicken wing debate rages on, the question of whether boneless wings are indeed wings remains unanswered. One thing is for sure: whether you’re Team Traditional, savoring every bite of bone-in wing glory, or part of the Saucy Nug Squad, delighting in the ease of boneless indulgence, there’s no shortage of passion for these saucy, tender, chicken… things.
And as we leave the debate simmering like a pot of hot sauce, one truth emerges: whether they have bones or not, chicken wings in all their forms are a culinary treasure we can’t resist. So, order your favorite, whether it’s classic wings or saucy nugs, and enjoy every bite. After all, isn’t that what really matters?
Yes!