By Larry Billinger
My fellow Americans, fasten your seatbelts! We’re about to embark on a whimsical journey through the lives of Grant and Nathan, two seemingly ordinary IT professionals who I work with might just be moonlighting as secret agents.
Exhibit A: The Mysterious Men of Mystery
Grant, the enigmatic early 20’s something-year-old, claims to be a blacksmith and knife-maker hobbyist. But his YouTube fame for playing the USSR national anthem on a kazoo really tickles the curiosity. His passion for “villagers” and the art of unicycle getaways adds layers to his mystique. Is he crafting metal or secret messages?
Nathan, a shadow in the daylight, is as elusive as a ghost. With no hobbies to speak of and a stubborn desire for control, he’s the perfect candidate for a secret agent masquerading as an IT geek.
Exhibit B: The Communication Code
Grant’s language is a blend of young slang and cryptic references, possibly a sophisticated code for contacting fellow spies. His lunchtime rendezvous with a lady friend? Maybe it’s not just lunch but a secret debriefing session. Then, some days, he wants to eat lunch with us, probably to gain intel for that lady, who is most likely the leader.
Meanwhile, Nathan pops up like a surprise guest in a spy thriller. His sudden appearances, such as at the office Christmas dinner, could be less about festive cheer and more about clandestine operations and intel sharing with Grant and his lady friend.
Exhibit C: The Gadget Guys
Both are entrenched in the world of IT, a perfect cover for secret agents. Grant’s unicycle isn’t just a quirky mode of transport; it’s a stealthy escape vehicle. And Nathan’s apparent lack of gadgets and 1980’s era truck with no electronics? Perhaps it is a clever disguise for a high-tech arsenal worthy of any spy movie.
Exhibit D: The Anti-Social Network
Avoiding human contact seems to be their forte. Phone calls? They’d rather face a firing squad. Their preferred communication channel is Discord, which is possibly a digital haven for covert communications. I was allowed into one of their most likely public-facing chats and didn’t understand anything anyone was talking about. They are probably tracking my phone now.
The Verdict
The evidence is compelling. At the same time, they may seem like average IT professionals, but Grant and Nathan’s quirks and habits suggest something far more thrilling. Their everyday actions could well be a smokescreen for daring spy missions.
So, next time you see Grant in the office late “switching out equipment” or Nathan vanishing during work hours, remember: they might just be off saving the world, one IT crisis (or international espionage plot) at a time.
